diana-and-arabella:

bridesmaid to a waiter: what a beautiful wedding! what a beautiful wedding! and, yes, but what a shame, what a shame the poor groom’s bride is a whore.

bride:

groom:

waiter:

bridesmaid:

bride: i came out to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

(via perfectaste)

theprettygoodgatsby:

my favorite part of hamlet is at the beginning when they see the ghost of hamlet sr for the first time

and the guards are like “Horatio, you go talk to it! You went to college!”

and Horatio is like “Yeah! I did go to college! I will go talk to the ghost!”

like. where did horatio go to college. did he go to ghost college

(via fourteenacross)

averagefairy:

what even is the 50 shades movie gonna be just like a theatre full of 40 yr old women eating popcorn and gasping and clutching their chests throughout 2 hours of softcore porn???????? please no

(via ianstagram)